March 8th, 2009



Last night I had a dream I can't remember very well, apart from the fact that I seemed to be the last person alive on Earth. I was wandering around my house and my neighborhood, finding everything completely devoid of human life.

Eventually I ended up in my own backyard, where a mutant half-man/half-pig creature leapt out of nowhere and attacked me. In self-defense, I cracked him over the head with a metal pipe I had picked up. He abruptly turned into less of a horrid mutant and more like the Dish of the Day from Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, smiled, and thanked me for killing him before he died.

Another thing about this dream I remember very clearly is that I was chain-smoking cigarettes throughout it. I've never done that in real life, in fact I hate cigarette smoke, but within the dream it seemed necessary for some reason.

Thursday night I had a more entertaining dream, in which I was a professional wrestler. I was in a match against some big bearded guy, who seemed to have a major crush on me. As we were wrestling, he kept asking me out on dates, and I kept politely declining as we beat the crap out of each other in front of a massive crowd and TV cameras.

"Come on man, you and me, dinner after the show.."
*he flips me into the ropes*
"and then we can go back to my place.."
*he kicks me in the head, I fall, and he pins me*
"it'll be great, whaddya say?"
*I break the pin and pick up a folding chair*
"Listen man, you're a great guy.."
*CRACK as I bash the chair over his head*
"but I'm just not into you in that way.."
*I flip him onto the mat, grab his leg, and twist it around behind his back*
"I hope we can stay friends though.."

And it just went on like that.

I notice a pattern. Perhaps it means I'm not cracking people over the head with things enough in my daily life.
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